THE ANSWERS ARE IN YOURSELF

All my talking is about ending pain & suffering.
*


The world means delusion.
The World is not 'out there',
The World is in the mind.
*


What caused the world to arise
in you in the first place?
*


A 'person'
 is a limited way of seeing oneself.
*



A wise master puts an undisciplined dog on a short leash and teaches the dog discipline. The dogs discipline manifests as an ability to obey the masters' command. If the dog doesn't come back, on command, when it's let off the leash...the problem is the masters' not the dog. Sit a well-trained dog on the opposite side of the street to you and wait for the first car to appear and then command the dog to 'come'. A well-trained dog will not even see the car. It's eyes will be constantly on the master.
Love is the master. Violence has no place in the equation.
*


The master
gives meaning to the dogs' life.
Love
gives meaning to mans' life.
*



If you untie your children from your apron strings before they are fully trained, don't be surprised when they get into trouble.
*



When Mum's home all is well.
When Mum's not home the children will express their unhappiness in an unpleasant fashion. There is no such thing as a home without a mother in it. A mother is a child's' first Guru and best friend. Buying shoes with Velcro ties, robs the mother of her duties. Who do you think taught you to tie your shoelaces? If you trip in life then you are not following your mothers' commands. Never has a child's' mother been replaced. There is no replacement for a mothers' love. A true mother will willingly die for you. What you make of yourself in life is your attempt at repaying your mother.
A man who stays true to himself, (man is inclusive of woman) makes his mother proud. She will hold her head high and proclaim to the whole world, 'This is my son!' He is the son of God. He is Gods' gift to me. I have performed my duties and raised him well. He is now my gift to the world.
*


When the child is in pain,
so is the Mother.
When the Mother is in pain,
so is the child.
Everyone know when Mother is in pain.
It is a Universal feeling.
*



When children cause problems in Society, why punish the child? Look to the mother.
When a dog causes problems look to the master.
*


Sins are committed out of ignorance.
Destroy ignorance and sin does not exist.
*


The next time you fill up your car at the gas-station, ask yourself this question; How many more mothers and children have to die in order that I may drive?
How far will a car drive with a petrol tank full of blood?
*



Living in an oil-rich country may appear to be a blessing, at first sight. Look closer and you will find that it's a curse. At the end of the day the ones who consume the most will suffer the most. True humans do not consume. Parasites consume. (Parasites consume what they don't need. It is in their nature.) Allowing yourself to be labeled a 'consumer' is an insult. Societies suffers from the disease called 'consumption'. TB is on the rise and millions will die.
*


When is enough, enough?
Greed does not recognize the word 'enough'.
At any given moment, you are free to say 'NO! Enough is enough!'
Ask a 2-year old child about the power of 'NO!'
*


In the Aboriginal society it is a known fact that whatever you take from the Earth puts you in debt to Her. To balance the books, the Earth demands blood.
*


To eradicate drug pushers from Society, law-enforcement will go after 'the pushers'.
When a president of a country tells you that you are addicted to oil, tell him to go after the 'pushers' and that you will deal with the suffering of addiction. It's called 'withdrawal!'
*


Warfare is a sure sign of a societies impotence.
*



Penetration and withdrawal apply equally to war and sex. A potent man would not be able to attain an erection and commit the war-crime, rape, on the battlefield.
*



Once a society stands by and allows it's military to bomb domestic sites, such as water supplies, electricity supplies and food supplies, then know that we all live on a battlefield.
*



Do unto others as you would have them do unto us.
It is the law of Nature.
Break that law and suffer the consequences.
*



We claim we are involved in a righteous war, then do not kill civilians. There is nothing 'righteous' in the bombing of women and children. The words 'collateral damage', (when applied to the killing of women and children), translated means 'soft pornography.'
*



As a child at the dinner table, I once told my Father, "I don't like this." His reply was, "The trouble with you boy, is that you are too well-fed." He took the food off my plate and ate it. He then said, "In the first Wold War I was a soldier in the trenches for 3 years. I have seen men trying to eat their own shit and drink their own piss in order to stay alive! And you, turn your nose up at good food? You don't deserve it!"
He taught me 'deserve comes before desire'.
*



Truth is spoken over the breath.
Lies are muttered under the breath.
*



Neurotic eating habits and a troubled mind go hand-in-hand.
*





We may use the words 'physically challenged' or 'crippled'. The fact is, the man can not walk on his own. You may use the words, 'mentally challenged' or 'retarded'. The fact is , the man is dysfunctional. Political correctness can only be projected onto a society that doesn't feel good about its actions. A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.
*



Do not claim to be human and demonize another man to the point where you can kill him with a clear conscience and then claim, "It's alright, he's not human!"
*



When a designer handbag costs more money than a third-world family makes in 5 years then, surely, we are doomed.
*



In my world, one mans gain is every mans' gain.
On Earth, one mans' gain is another mans' loss.
*


Is your mother less related to you than your sister? Is your Middle-Eastern brother less related to you than your third cousin who happens to have dark skin?
*


Each and every man is nourished in the womb. How can there be different wombs, if they all function the same? A child's' personality is formed in the womb and colored by the mothers' thoughts.
*


Show a dog love once and it will never forget. So it is with the Guru.
*


In the Western world we read from left to right. In the East they read from right to left. Take the word DOG. Start from left to right and see what you get. Then read from right to left and see what you end up with.
*


I am a 'God-dog.'
*


A dog cannot have 2 masters.
It only causes confusion.
Confusion does not a happy dog make.
*


Once one deals with blame
where is the need for praise?
*


Everyone is equally responsible for everything and nothing.
*


Hypocrisy implies lack of good breeding.
'Do as I say and not as I do' is hypocrisy.
What great men do, lesser men follow.
What hypocrites do, fools follow.
*


Whatever you need in life will come to you providing you have the courage to recognize it.
*


Massive famine will descend on America. What are you going to do then...eat each other, and when your belly is full, will you still claim to be human?
*


When you put out 'shock and awe', don't be surprised when it comes back to you.
*



When you elect a politician, he acts on your behalf.
If you believe he's not speaking for you
then you do not live in a democracy.
*


Birth does not give you the right to claim that you are human.
'By their actions shall ye know them.'
*



I have yet to see or hear of a man-made weapon that has not been used on one of our 'family members'. Once a war-weapon has been used against a family member, it will eventually turn against its creators.
*



Whatever is created does not want to die, (which includes Nuclear Weapons). They are no different than us. They live to fulfill their purpose, the same as we do.
*




How does a man control something that has more power than him? It will one day bite him in the ass.
*


Getting rid of guns does not eradicate killing.
I seem to remember a boy once killed a man with a slingshot and a pebble!
*


Any fool can kill.
Not any fool can Love.
*


The reason we are afraid and paranoid of another country dropping a Nuclear bomb on us is because we've already done it!
*



Mans' own actions create fear and paranoia.
*



Once you're out of tune,
your song will be out of tune.
It will not sound pleasant to the ear.
*


Installing weak people in power positions can only end in disaster, for all of us.
Do not expect a feeble-minded man to negotiate.
*


Love and Peace are non-negotiable.
They are states of being.
*



True Peace will manifest by its' own power,
when man has had enough of war and killing.
I ask again, "When is enough, enough?"
*


A man who doesn't know that he's had enough to eat, doesn't know when he's had enough of ANYTHING!
*


Another word for greed is 'overeating'.
*


The right amount of fuel makes a good fire.
Excessive fuel puts it out.
Sit too close to a fire and you will get burned.
Sit too far away from the fire and you will freeze.
*



Be honest with yourself.
*



Love is fire.
Fear is cold, hence, in certain situations, people 'freeze up'.
*



Love and the heart are inseparable.
*


Fear and the sphincter are inseparable, hence, a soldier on a battlefield was asked when he returned home, "What was it like?" His honest reply was, "I shit my trousers!" (literally)
*





Do not look to me for answers. The answers are in yourself.

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

do you believe mental or  physical abuse is more damaging?

All forms of abuse stem from ignorance of ones' true nature. 
It's all a matter of degrees. 
On the physical side it's called violence. 
On the mental, emotional and feeling side it's called
abuse. 
Before one can answer that question one must ask 
where this violence comes from. This so-called great country 
of ours was founded on violence. Violence was committed 
on convicts in the transportation to Australia, (slave labor) 
and violence was institutionalized
against the Original People of this land and still is to this day! 
Our children are the closest to our earth, the foundation. 
So you can expect the violence and abuse to manifest 
in them first. 
Look at the UK, for example. 
When mother is not at home, children are not happy. 
Unhappy children grow up to be unhappy adults. 
Unhappy adults are more likely to commit 
abuse and violence, men and women.

is a relationship survivable once abuse has become a part of it?

It depends some people actually like it, 
(believe it or not!) 
As my mother 
drummed into me
when I fought 
and 
argued 
with my sisters, 
"IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!"

Long term abuse and violence 
in a relationship 
comes about when both parties 
abuse themselves.

Why would anyone, in their right 
mind, allow 
another party to beat and abuse

them if they didn't already 
do it to themselves? 
Why would a man or woman

who loved themselves unconditionally 
be attracted to those kinds of 
relationships
to start with.
I'll give you an example:
In the book I wrote, MY DANISH PASTRY, 
why did I end up leaving Jonna? 
She showed
me the error of my ways. 
She was a master of 
committing violence and abuse on herself.
I felt like a novice in her company, 
which 
led me to discover 
that I didn't need to do what
I was doing to myself anymore. 
Hence, 
no more relationship.
All relationships are based 
on the relationship 
one has with themselves. 
That's as good as it gets.

do you think domestic violence is punished harshly enough?

I don't know the law well enough to 
answer that question. 
What I do know is, as a 

young  man, I punished myself 
mercilessly  at time. 
Most times, 
I didn't know why. I only

stopped when I ran out of 
excuses for 
not loving myself 
unconditionally. What I will say
about the law is that 
it's rotten and corrupt. 
It needs to be applied equally. 
Here's a good example for you. 
There have been three cases 
I read of women cutting
off a mans' penis. The outcome 
was not a 
very harsh punishment 
which was metered out.
I haven't heard of a man who sewed 
up a vagina while 
his wife was asleep. Maybe men
value a vagina more than women 
value a penis. (LOL)

you wrote this book from a male perspective, yet you were honest and unbiased 

and gave readers a bird's eye view of a dv situation. 

Was that difficult for you to present 

and put down on paper emotionally?

The short answer, no. Once I was out 
of the relationship 
I set about destroying the 
ignorance that created the relationship 
in the first place. 
There can never be enough 
destruction of ignorance. 
It is the greatest 
plague on our planet!

MY DANISH PASTRY (Not a cookbook) is a comedy
and a tragedy. 
Two young victims stuck on 
the wheel of Karma like 
hamsters in a cage, 
I grew up in an era where 
the program 
from the establishment 
said, 'Big boys don't cry!'
I broke the mold. I cried 
the relationship 
out of my system 50 years ago. 
That doesn't mean
I forgot about it. 
I carried it with me 
from that day 
until MY DANISH PASTRY 
was published.
It's all yours now people, 
warts and all!

Looking back on the relationship you have written about, 

did you see that there were warning 

signs that you overlooked in 

the hope of the relationship working? 

if so, what were they.

There were more warning signs 
than flees on a dog
 but I ignored them all. 
The more 
I ignored them the 
more they bred. 
For example, 
she got pregnant 
after one roll 
in the wool. 
Was that a 
testament to 
my virility

or her stupidity 
for stopping 
taking her 
birth-control pills right 
after she met me.
She spoke very little 
english. What she did 
speak was bad but I thought
I could fix that. 
She was Very moody, 
addicted to
strong over-the-counter 
headache pills 
and far too many 
warning signs to bore you with.

So, why did I stay?
 The main reason was that 
she was pregnant. 
In those days, I foolishly
believed I could help her 
attain 
some happiness in life. 
I learned the 
hard way, no one can 
do anothers' 
work for them. 
Everyone is their own 
responsibility. 
Jonna told me many times 
that she would die 
very young. At around 35 
she was a prostitute 
living in Denmark.
 She ended up 
being strangled to
death on her bathroom floor. 
When I first heard about it, 
I realized she had
what I've heard people 
call a 'death wish'.  
In the time we spent together 
I can remember and 
have written about 
all the times when 
she prodded and goaded me. 
Many's the time 
I thought, 
'Why don't I just
choke this bitch to death and 
put her 
out of her misery!' 
But for the Grace of God 
there goes I! 
Her current 
boyfriend at the time fulfilled her wish.

Sabatoge, now there's a
beauty for you. 
When is that ever 
spoken about?
People can do some 
real good damage 
to themselves and 
others with 
that abusive tool. 
I have 
worked with people 
who relied on tha
t little gem for 
years. My mother tried to
sabatoge my father 
for years by constantly 
nagging him to be 
something he wasn't. 
I learned it from 
her and used it
on myself, as a 
young man. 

So, sabotaging oneself 
implies abuse. 
I am not worthy and 
lovable enough. 
I don't deserve love!
Sabotaging another implies 
fear and control, 
another form of 
abuse...and on 
and on it goes.
Loving oneself 
is the only way to end 
the cycle of abuse!
Every night, before you take rest, 
remind yourself;

I LOVE MYSELF IN 
SPITE OF EVERYTHING

NOT BECAUSE OF 
EVERYTHING

In this ever-changing world 

domestic violence seems 

to be on the increase, 

do you have any 

thoughts about it? 

what you felt from your experience?

I do not live in a world of 
domestic violence

but I can tell you this from 
what I read and see on
the media. 
All forms of violence 
and abuse
 are on the rise not to 
mention 
rot, corruption and greed. 
It surrounds us every day 
and it won't stop until 
we do something about it. 
When things get 
bad enough 
right action will follow. 
My question is, how bad 
does it have to get?
The governments 
are reflections 
of the people 
and vis-versa. 
If you're waiting 
for the status 
quo to change 
things by law, 
you'll be 
waiting a long time. 
Start with yourself first. 
At least you won't 
be adding to it.

Knowing what you know now, to what you knew then, 

where do you think society needs to 

start for people to learn how not to abuse?

Education, Education, Education!

It's very simple really. 
Be like a small child,

before it's programmed.

Don't abuse yourself 

and you won't abuse

others. 
Treat people like you 
would like to be 

treated. It works. 

That's all you can do.

Some people 
love being 
abused so they always 

look for someone 

to abuse them. 
If you have 
someone in your life

who is like that, dump them 
immediately! No matter

who they are. 
They can only bring you down.

As a young man, I expected 
Jonna to fulfill all my 

fantasies and 

dreams and make 

it all better. 

She wanted 
the same. 

We both failed 
miserably! 

No one can do 
for you what 
you won't do 
for yourself.

What do you hope readers 

will take away from this book?

First up, let me say, 
I don't live in a 
world of hope. 

Those who live in 
hope, die in hope.

Let's use the word TRUST 
instead. I trust in my heart 

that whoever reads 

MY DANISH PASTRY 
from beginning to 
end will be 

transformed by the 
brutal honesty

and unconditioned love that wrote it. 
I want for you 

what I attained 
in life for myself. 

I had to live it for 
four years and 
it transformed my life. 

All you have to do is read it

in what will take a few hours. 

Base your actions 
in love and 
you can't go wrong. 

In those days, 
I based my actions 
on lack and fear.

 It was doomed before it started!

What are your thoughts regarding the 

emotional impact of the book?

Feelings, feelings, feelings! 
Those who can't feel 

are walking dead. 

Anything that is alive, 

on this planet, 
has feelings. 
Feelings are the 

tentacles of the heart. 

They are similar

to muscles, from 
the standpoint, 
'use them or lose them'. 

First, learn to feel 
for yourself,

then it will radiate out and 
affect everyone.
Once you can feel 

the pain and suffering 

of the world then 
you'll realize 
your heart has 

manifested 
its full potential.

Compassion is all!

Limitation causes 
pain and ignorance 
causes suffering. 

You may have to put up with

some pain but you are not 
compelled to suffer!

Do you have a message, to enlighten or educate, 

or assist that you want to share regarding 

this book for people who are and or 

have been in an abusive relationship?

For those of you who are 
in an abusive and 
violent relationship, read 
MY DANISH PASTRY 
(Not a cookbook!) LOL 
Next, ask yourself 
the most dangerous
 question you've ever asked,

WHAT AM I NOT AWARE OF
THAT I NEED TO BE AWARE OF?

Don't ask if you are 
not serious otherwise 
you won't like the answer. 
For those who have moved
 on from an 
abusive relationship, 
my heart is happy
for you. 
You have educated yourself as 
I did, as a young man.
I don't need to do that again!

<><><><><>

SHEARING AT STONEHENGE AND MORE WITH BILLY KINGHORN ~ 3

"Hey Yorky, are those Merinos hard to shear? I've never shorn any.", asked Steve.
"It depends how many wrinkles are on 'em. Some of 'em, I'm flat out shearing 110 in a day."
"Jesus mate, I probably would be able to shear 50 a day in 'em."
"Ya gotta' get used to 'em first mate. It's a different style of shearing."
     Just then, Bill walked in the Lounge and said with a big smile,
"Yorky mate, did you get my missus drunk tonight?"
"No fucking way mate. She didn't need any help, she did it all on her own. We just bought the drinks for her. Is she alright?"
"Yeah, she flaked out on the couch. She couldn't make it upstairs."
"Are ya upset mate?"
"No fucking way Yorky. She was too drunk to nag at me. That's a good thing."
"Ya want a drink Bill?"
"Yeah, a lager and a whiskey chaser but I'm buying Yorky. I'm gonna' have a peaceful night tonight thanks to you. How much do I owe you for Shirleys' drinks?"
"Get fucked Billy!"

>>>>>>>>

     The following week, Bill got himself a new wool roller. His name was Bruce and he came from Brisbane. He never had much to do with shearing sheds in his life. He was what we called a city bloke.
     In Australia, Once the fleece is off the sheeps' back, it gets thrown onto the table and then 'skirted' to remove any 'dags'. It's then put in a bin, ready for the presser to press it into a large bale. In England, all they do is roll the fleece up and put it into a big hessian sack.
     Bill showed Bruce how to roll up the fleeces and how to tie them. Along with rolling fleeces, Bruce also had to drag the sheep out of a pen, onto the shearing stand which was, admittedly, not the easiest job.
     It didn't take long for me to realize that Bruce was a lazy bastard and a bit of a con man. On this particular day, we were shearing on the Salsbury Plain in Wiltshire. Billy had told Bruce to drag sheep for me that day. I made sure that I kept him working flat out.

     In those days, I could shear most English sheep in under a minute. Bruce had a hard time keeping up with me. The field we were shearing in had a huge monument in it called STONEHENGE. At smoke time, myself and mi shearing mates sat in the Stonehenge circle with out backs to some of the stones, drinking a beer and eating our sandwiches that Shirley had made for us.
     It wasn't until years later that I heard that Stonehenge was, supposedly, a mystical place that the Druids used for their ceremonies. As I sat there, eating mi smoko, Bruce came up to me and said,
"Hey Yorky, you've gotta' slow down mate. I'm fucked! I can't keep this up all day."
"So why don't ya fucking quit mate? Ya don't tell a shearer to slow down. That's how I know ya bull-shitted Kinghorn when ya said ya worked in the sheds in Queensland."
"Well I did work in my Uncles' shed for a couple of hours, one time."
"Hey Bruce, I shore at quite a few sheds in Queensland so I know what I'm talking about mate. You wouldn't last two fucking minutes in a shed out back a' Quilpy. Those fucking shearers out there would eat ya for fucking dinner!"

     After smoko, we had our heads down and our arses up, going flat out as we had a lot of sheep to get through that day as Bill didn't want to come back next day just for a couple of sheep. Bruce was slacking off, standing around laughing and joking with some of the local women that Bill employed every year to roll wool.
     When my hand-piece wasn't cutting wool, I wasn't making money. I said to Bill,
"Ya gotta' give me another bloke to drag sheep for me. That Bruce is is a lazy fuckin' bastard. He wouldn't work in an iron-fuckin'-lung! Why did ya give the bastard a job anyway?"
"It's hard to find wool-rollers at this time of year Yorky. He assured me he'd been in the sheds before."
"Yeah well, he's a bull-shit artist mate. Give him to Warren, he's the slowest shearer. He might be able to keep up with him."
"Alright Yorky mate, I'll get ya a better man to drag 'em out for ya."
"Oh and by the way Bill, I'd keep a good eye on the bastard if he's camping out at your place or he'll be after ya missus."
"Ya think so mate?"
"No mate, I know so. Every time I look up, he's bull-shittin' those local women."

     That evening we all decided to drink at the Manor as Steve said he had noticed the same cop car parked at the end of Bills' driveway with their lights out. They were obviously still pissed off that I'd got away from them.
     Towards the end of the evening, Steve walked back across the road to Bills' place to get some more money as he had run out. When he got back to the bar he said to me, in an excited voice,
"Yorky mate, you're not gonna' believe what I just saw!"
"What are ya on about mate?"
"Bruce, Yorky. Him and Shirley are drinking in the front room. They're sat on the couch, real close, laughing and joking together. I think he's trying to get a root out of her. Ya think we should tell Bill?"
"No mate. It's none of our business what she does. She's a grown woman. I can tell ya from experience mate, never stick ya nose into a situation like that or you'll end up getting covered in shit ya self."
     It was only a short time later that Billy walked up to me at the bar, with panic in his voice and said,
"Yorky mate, come outside with me will ya? You're not gonna' believe this!"
"What's the matter Billy? Have ya seen a ghost of something?"
"No, it's much worse than that."
     Once we were outside he said,
"Let's walk down this way a bit so we can't be seen."
"Where are we going mate? Who are we hiding from?"
"I'll show ya."
     We walked across the road to the wall at the end of Bills' house as he said,
"Don't make a sound!"
"Alright mate, but what's going on?"
     We snuck up the side of the wall until we got to the window of the lounge room. Billy peeped in the side of the window and then said to me,
"Take a look mate."
"All right mate, move outa' the way so I can see."
     Being careful not to be seen, I looked in the window. There was Bruce and Shirley laid out on the couch, kissing each other. Bruce had his hand up Shirleys' skirt.
"Fucking hell Bill! The bastards trying to shag ya missus. How did ya find out without being seen?"
"I was thinking about what ya said today about not trusting the fucker so I dropped the girlfriend off early tonight and instead of going into the house, I snuck around to the front here just to see what Shirley was doing. What d'ya think I should do Yorky?"
"Well if I was you mate, I'd sneak into the house and catch 'em in the act. I'm off back into the Manor."
     Once I was back at the bar, Steve said to me,
"What's going on Yorky? Bill looked real worried. Did he get caught drinking and driving?"
"No mate, he just caught Bruce on the couch with his hand up Shirleys skirt."
"Ya fucking kidding me mate."
"I kid you not Steve."
"So what's Billy doing? Is he pissed?"
"I don't know mate. I didn't want to get involved so I left him to it."
"Jesus Christ, I knew they were up to something when I went back to the house to get mi money."
     Half an hour later, Bruce walked up to the bar with a half-smile smirk on his face and ordered a pint.
"What are you fucking smiling at Bruce?", I asked.
"Bill just caught me trying to root Shirley."
"So you think that's something to smile about mate?"
"Yeah it was funny. Ya won't think it's funny if he knocks ya arse over head mate."
"He's not gonna' do that or he'd have already done it. He just told me to get out a' the house and then he started yelling at Shirley."
"Yeah, well ya know what Bruce, fuck off and drink somewhere else mate. Bill's our mate and we don't like bastards like you."
"Yeah, go drink in the other room Bruce or I might job ya miself.", said Warren
     A short time later, Billy walked back into the bar.
"Ya wanna' beer Bill?", asked Sarah.
Yeah, a pint of lager and a whisky chaser."
     Once Sarah had put the drinks on the bar, Bill said to me,
"Can I talk to ya in private Yorky?"
"Sure mate. Let's go sit at one of those tables."
     Bill downed half of the lager in a couple of gulps and then said,
"I'm fucking stunned Yorky! I can't believe Shirley would fuck around on me like that, especially with that fucking loser, Bruce."
"What can I tell ya mate, shit happens."
"Yeah, but we've been married for 10 years mate. How can I ever trust the bitch again?"
"Have ya ever heard if 'what goes around' Bill?"
"Course I have but this is different! It's Shirley, mi missus!"
"Hey Billy, I love ya and all that and I feel for ya mate but haven't ya been shagging that girlfriend of yours for months?", I said.
"What's that gotta' do with anything? I'm a bloke.That's what we do."
"Maybe Shirley thinks what's good for the goose is good for the gander?"
"Not in my fucking house Yorky. She's the mother of mi kids!"
"Then, I don't know what to tell ya Bill. What about Bruce? Why didn't ya knock that slimy bastard arse over?"
"I can't really do that Yorky, I'm short of wool rollers. If I do that and he quits on me, I'll be in the shit."
"Well if ya gonna keep the bastard on the payroll the least ya can do is make him sleep outside in one of the caravans when we're local shearing and don't let him in the house for breakfast. Feed him outside with the fucking dogs."
"What a good idea Yorky."
"I think so mate. Go over to where he's sitting and tell him the good news. That'll wipe the smile off his face."
     Billy finished his pint, downed his whiskey chaser in one hit and said,
"I can't stand women who cheat on me!"
>>>>>>
   
     Wargret Manor was only 15 yards way from Kinghorns' back door. Myself and my 2 Kiwi shearing mates, Steve and Warren had no legitimate complaints, apart from the prices. I really enjoyed spending my evenings there as the customers were 'Up-scale Drunks'.
     One evening, Sarah the owner, said to me,
"Yorky, Kinghorn told me you're pretty good on the guitar, is that right?"
"I'm not bad Sarah. Why? What do you have in mind, a party?"
"Well, sort of.  I've got a group of older ladies in our big room. It's their annual diner and I thought you might consider entertaining them for half an hour or so."
"Yeah Sarah, no worries love. that could be good fun."
"I should warn you first Yorky, the youngest one's about 70. They're a pretty raunchy crowd."
"That won't worry me. I've been known to get a bit raunchy miself at times."
"Give me another pint of lager and a couple for mi mates and I'll head across to Bills' place and get the guitar."
'This is gonna' be a good night.', I thought as I headed over to Bills' place. This will put me in good with Sarah. Who knows, there may be a bit of a root in it for me at the end of the evening. She seems to like me quite a bit.

"Yorky, What are you doing back so early?", asked Shirley as I walked into the house.
"I just came to get the guitar. They're having a bit of a party at the Manor. Why don't you come across for a while and have a drink? It'll do you good."
"I'd like to Yorky but I don't have a baby sitter for Alister."
"Is he asleep?"
"Yeah, for now."
"Well, you can pop back every half hour and check on him."
"You know what Yorky, I might just do that. Is Billy over there?"
"No love, he took off somewhere. He said he'd be back soon."
"Yeah, like 'early in the morning' soon."
     Guitar in hand, I headed out the door and said,
"See ya over there Shirl."
"I gotta' get dressed first. I'll be there in half an hour."

     Back in Wargret Manor, my pint of lager was waiting for me on the bar.
"Hey Yorky mate.", said Steve. "Are we having a party?"
"It sure looks like it Steve-O."
"That's great. It'll remind me of all the wild Maori parties back home in Kiwi land."
"Yeah, I know what ya mean. I've been to a lot of 'em miself. I never met a Maori yet who couldn't sing and play a guitar. I liked it best when they sang their cultural songs in Maori."
"Me too Yorky."
"Ya know, I spent a Xmas in the North Island with an old shearing mate of mine called Boy Peck. It was one of the best times I've ever had. They put down this massive Hungi and had 10 kegs of beer. The party lasted for seven fucking days. No one went home, they just crashed wherever they could and when they woke up they just carried on partying."

"Have you got the guitar Yorky?", asked Sarah as she came back in the lounge bar.
"I sure have. It's tuned up and ready to go."
"I'll just get this couple their drinks and then we'll go into the other room and I'll introduce you to Warehams' Senior Ladies Club."
     Once we were in the dining room, Sarah hit the side of a beer glass with a spoon and said,
"Ladies, Ladies, quiet please. It gives me great pleasure to introduce you to Yorky. He's from Australia and he's very kindly agreed to entertain you with his guitar, so let's give him a Wargret Manor welcome with some clapping."
"It's all yours Yorky.", said Sarah as she put the empty beer glass and spoon on the table.
     Now, I gotta' tell ya, this group of around 30 ladies were not your ordinary conservative elderly old ladies. Every single one of them were wearing their Sunday best and were as drunk as monkeys.
     As soon as I strummed the first chord, they started to hoot and holler. The first song I played and sang was Tom Jones' Green Green Grass of Home. As  soon as I finished they clapped and hotted even louder. The next song I sang was an old Elvis song, The Wonder of You. Half-way through the song, Sarah brought me in another pint of larger and sat it on the table and said,
"Thanks Yorky, they're loving it."
     Once the Elvis song was finished, one of the ladies shouted out,
"Can you play something more lively?"
"Sure love, what would you like to hear?"
     Another older lady shouted out,
"Can you play any dirty ditties?"
"I can, but there's a lot of swearing in them and they're pretty raunchy."
"That's what we want to hear!", shouted another old girl. "We're all spinsters here tonight and we need a bit of raunchy stuff to remind us of when we were young."
     I was a bit apprehensive at first but then I thought,
'Oh well, fuck it. If you get offended, you asked for it.'
     My first song was Maggie May. There's a line in the song about those old red tattered drawers that Maggie wore. When I got to the line about how they were wet all down the front from the dripping of her cunt, I missed out the word 'cunt'. To my surprise, a roomful of old girls shouted out at the top of their voices, 'CUNT!" From that point on, it was all systems go. The more foul language that I sang, the more they loved it. Halfway through one of the baudy ballads, one of them go up on the table and removed her 'granny knickers' and swung them round and round her head. At that point, the whole room started clapping and cheering the old girl who was so drunk and happy as a pig in shit! At the end of the ballad I shouted out to her,
"You must have been a bit of a goer in your youth!"
"I still am!", she shouted back. "Look what you've done to me. Ya sang the bloomers off me."
     Once I'd run out of songs, which took a half-hour or so, I thanked my audience of old girls and went back to the lounge bar.
"Yorky, that was absolutely fantastic and so generous of you.", said Sarah. "Those old ladies will remember this night for the rest of their lives."

"Are you behaving yourself Yorky?", said a female voice behind me.
     When I turned around, there was Bills' missus. She had done her hair, applied some makeup and wore a pretty dress that showed a bit of cleavage.
"Shirl, how are ya mi love? What can I get you to drink?"
"Vodka and orange sounds good Yorky, if ya don't mind."
"Course I don't mind Shirl, why would I?"
"Well Wargret Manor is known for its' prices."
"Oh fuck that Shirley, who cares. We're making money, a ton of money, shearing. Besides, it's a working holiday."
     Both Warren and Steve, who were by this time quite drunk, chimed in and said,
"Yeah, fuck the expense Shirley. It's our shout. You cook our meals and wash our greasy dungarees so you're not allowed to buy any drinks tonight. Order whatever you like, we're paying."
"That's very sweet of you boys. It's lovely to be appreciated for a change."
"No worries Shirley.", I said. "Here ya go love, One large vodka and orange. Have as many as you like."

     The night progressed along well and everyone, including Billys' missus, were having a great time. At one point, Shirley who was a little bit on the drunk side started to tell me her marriage problems which made it a bit awkward.
     After a while, I said,
"Shirl, Billy's mi shearing mate and although I feel for ya, what can I say love? I gotta' stay neutral cause I'm good friends with both of ya so let's change the subject eh."
"You're absolutely right Yorky.", she said with a bit of a slur in her speech. "I shouldn't have put you in that position. That wasn't fair."
"No worries Shirl, forget about it."

     A short time later,  I saw her talking to Steve. By the look on his face I could tell what they were discussing.
"Let me get you another Lager Yorky.", said Sarah.
"Good on ya Sarah.", I said and emptied my glass.
     While I was sat at the bar talking to Warren about New Zealand, a bloke who had been sat at the bar for a couple of hours tipping them back, said to me,
"So you blokes are shearing for Kinghorn are ya?"
"Yeah, that's right mate."
     He looked older than me and was roughly about my size.
"Ya think you're a smart bastard don't ya, just because you can shear sheep and make a ton of money."
"Why do ya say that mate? I don't remember saying anything wrong to you sport?"
"Ya haven't", he replied.
"So why would ya say something like that? Ya don't even know me."
"Cause I don't fucking like you."
"Well that's alright mate. Nobody says you have to like me. That's up to you."
     Warren, who had been listening to the bloke mouthing off said,
"Hey mate, leave us alone. We're not bothering you are we?"
"Yeah you are, as a matter of fact."
"Forget about him Warren, have another Lager. Give us your glass mate, I'll buy ya one.", I said.
     Five minutes later, the bloke started again and said to me,
"You think you're a big shot don't you? Buying drinks for every one."
"Listen mate, I don't know who the fuck you are and what your problems are but if you keep running ya bullshit on me, I'll fucking knock ya arse over head! Do you understand what I'm telling ya sport?"
"Fuck you, you bastard. I'd like to see you try!"
     By this time, the few people who were left in the Lounge had noticed what was happening and the noise level had dropped a few decibels.
"Would you like to say that again mate? Why do you think I can't? Just go home mate."
"Fuck you, don't tell me what to do!"
     That was it! It was obvious to me that this bloke, whoever he was, had every intention of ruining a great night out. I drank the last dregs of Lager, then put the glass on the bar. I turned around fully to face the bloke and said,
"Last warning mate, Fuck Off home while ya still in one piece."
"Fuck you! Are you going to make me?"
"Yeah.", I said. "I am!"
     Without any further warning, I drove a well-aimed right at the bridge of his nose and splattered it across his face. The bridge of his nose was now reshaped flat as he went flying backwards off the stool. Blood was pissing out all over the floor. The bloke was laid out on the floor, not knowing what hit him.
"Give me a hand Warren."
"Sure Yorky, anything mate."
"Help me drag this loud mouthed bastard out the back."
     Once we had him out back, I said to Warren,
"Lay the bastard on the lawn so he doesn't bleed all over the concrete path."
     The bloke started to moan as he came to. The last words I had with him were,
"I fucking warned ya not to fuck with me mate but ya wouldn't listen. If ya come back inside and bother me or any of my mates, I'll give ya another fucking dose. Now go home like I told ya!"
     This time no 'fuck you' came out of him. He was too busy moaning,
"Ya broke my nose, ya broke my nose."
     That was the last I ever saw of the bloke.

     Back inside, Sarahs' brother, Raymond, was still mopping up the blood from where the bloke had hit the deck.
"Thanks for that Yorky. He's been bothering some of my other customers ever since he walked in. I was wondering how I was going to get rid of him, without getting hurt."
"You're welcome Raymond, anytime mate."
     As I sat back down on mi stool, Sarah placed another lager in front of me and said,
"Thank you. He's been asking for that all  night. He got abusive with me, once I told him I wasn't going to serve him anymore."
"Oh well, he won't be abusing anyone else for a while, that's for sure."
     Bills' missus wobbled up to me with a shocked look on her face and a large drink in her hand and said,
"Are you all right Yorky?"
"Yeah, I'm good Shirl. How're you going?"
"Oh my goodness, I've never seen like that in my life. I think you broke his nose."
"I'll be disappointed if I didn't Shirl."
"Why did he start picking on you for no reason?"
"I have no idea love but he's probably still out back if ya want to ask him."
"Oh no, I'm not comfortable around people like that."
"Neither am I Shirl. I grew up in the Outback and no matter how much grog a man drinks, it's no excuse to disrespect another man. That is, unless ya want a smack in the chops. Drink up love, I'll buy ya another drink."
"No way Yorky. Thanks for offering. I can hardly stand up as it is. I'd better go after I finish this one or I'll be so hung over in the morning I won't be able to make breakfast."

"Fucking shit.", said Steve as soon as Shirley had gone to find a seat. "What a fucking punch Yorky mate! Did ya see that blokes' nose splatter and the blood that came out?"
"That's what I aimed for mate. I wasn't gonna' mess up mi good clothes rolling around the floor with that fucking yobo."
"How did it start mate?"
"He just started disrespecting me for no reason at all."
"I guess he didn't need a reason. Did it bother ya, hitting him that hard?"
"Not one fucking bit mate."
"It must be a tough life in the Outback of Australia, is it?"
"Well, it's not fucking easy mate but life's not too fucking easy no matter where ya live, is it?", I said.
"No, I suppose not Yorky."