INTERVIEW QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

do you believe mental or  physical abuse is more damaging?

All forms of abuse stem from ignorance of ones' true nature. 
It's all a matter of degrees. 
On the physical side it's called violence. 
On the mental, emotional and feeling side it's called
abuse. 
Before one can answer that question one must ask 
where this violence comes from. This so-called great country 
of ours was founded on violence. Violence was committed 
on convicts in the transportation to Australia, (slave labor) 
and violence was institutionalized
against the Original People of this land and still is to this day! 
Our children are the closest to our earth, the foundation. 
So you can expect the violence and abuse to manifest 
in them first. 
Look at the UK, for example. 
When mother is not at home, children are not happy. 
Unhappy children grow up to be unhappy adults. 
Unhappy adults are more likely to commit 
abuse and violence, men and women.

is a relationship survivable once abuse has become a part of it?

It depends some people actually like it, 
(believe it or not!) 
As my mother 
drummed into me
when I fought 
and 
argued 
with my sisters, 
"IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!"

Long term abuse and violence 
in a relationship 
comes about when both parties 
abuse themselves.

Why would anyone, in their right 
mind, allow 
another party to beat and abuse

them if they didn't already 
do it to themselves? 
Why would a man or woman

who loved themselves unconditionally 
be attracted to those kinds of 
relationships
to start with.
I'll give you an example:
In the book I wrote, MY DANISH PASTRY, 
why did I end up leaving Jonna? 
She showed
me the error of my ways. 
She was a master of 
committing violence and abuse on herself.
I felt like a novice in her company, 
which 
led me to discover 
that I didn't need to do what
I was doing to myself anymore. 
Hence, 
no more relationship.
All relationships are based 
on the relationship 
one has with themselves. 
That's as good as it gets.

do you think domestic violence is punished harshly enough?

I don't know the law well enough to 
answer that question. 
What I do know is, as a 

young  man, I punished myself 
mercilessly  at time. 
Most times, 
I didn't know why. I only

stopped when I ran out of 
excuses for 
not loving myself 
unconditionally. What I will say
about the law is that 
it's rotten and corrupt. 
It needs to be applied equally. 
Here's a good example for you. 
There have been three cases 
I read of women cutting
off a mans' penis. The outcome 
was not a 
very harsh punishment 
which was metered out.
I haven't heard of a man who sewed 
up a vagina while 
his wife was asleep. Maybe men
value a vagina more than women 
value a penis. (LOL)

you wrote this book from a male perspective, yet you were honest and unbiased 

and gave readers a bird's eye view of a dv situation. 

Was that difficult for you to present 

and put down on paper emotionally?

The short answer, no. Once I was out 
of the relationship 
I set about destroying the 
ignorance that created the relationship 
in the first place. 
There can never be enough 
destruction of ignorance. 
It is the greatest 
plague on our planet!

MY DANISH PASTRY (Not a cookbook) is a comedy
and a tragedy. 
Two young victims stuck on 
the wheel of Karma like 
hamsters in a cage, 
I grew up in an era where 
the program 
from the establishment 
said, 'Big boys don't cry!'
I broke the mold. I cried 
the relationship 
out of my system 50 years ago. 
That doesn't mean
I forgot about it. 
I carried it with me 
from that day 
until MY DANISH PASTRY 
was published.
It's all yours now people, 
warts and all!

Looking back on the relationship you have written about, 

did you see that there were warning 

signs that you overlooked in 

the hope of the relationship working? 

if so, what were they.

There were more warning signs 
than flees on a dog
 but I ignored them all. 
The more 
I ignored them the 
more they bred. 
For example, 
she got pregnant 
after one roll 
in the wool. 
Was that a 
testament to 
my virility

or her stupidity 
for stopping 
taking her 
birth-control pills right 
after she met me.
She spoke very little 
english. What she did 
speak was bad but I thought
I could fix that. 
She was Very moody, 
addicted to
strong over-the-counter 
headache pills 
and far too many 
warning signs to bore you with.

So, why did I stay?
 The main reason was that 
she was pregnant. 
In those days, I foolishly
believed I could help her 
attain 
some happiness in life. 
I learned the 
hard way, no one can 
do anothers' 
work for them. 
Everyone is their own 
responsibility. 
Jonna told me many times 
that she would die 
very young. At around 35 
she was a prostitute 
living in Denmark.
 She ended up 
being strangled to
death on her bathroom floor. 
When I first heard about it, 
I realized she had
what I've heard people 
call a 'death wish'.  
In the time we spent together 
I can remember and 
have written about 
all the times when 
she prodded and goaded me. 
Many's the time 
I thought, 
'Why don't I just
choke this bitch to death and 
put her 
out of her misery!' 
But for the Grace of God 
there goes I! 
Her current 
boyfriend at the time fulfilled her wish.

Sabatoge, now there's a
beauty for you. 
When is that ever 
spoken about?
People can do some 
real good damage 
to themselves and 
others with 
that abusive tool. 
I have 
worked with people 
who relied on tha
t little gem for 
years. My mother tried to
sabatoge my father 
for years by constantly 
nagging him to be 
something he wasn't. 
I learned it from 
her and used it
on myself, as a 
young man. 

So, sabotaging oneself 
implies abuse. 
I am not worthy and 
lovable enough. 
I don't deserve love!
Sabotaging another implies 
fear and control, 
another form of 
abuse...and on 
and on it goes.
Loving oneself 
is the only way to end 
the cycle of abuse!
Every night, before you take rest, 
remind yourself;

I LOVE MYSELF IN 
SPITE OF EVERYTHING

NOT BECAUSE OF 
EVERYTHING

In this ever-changing world 

domestic violence seems 

to be on the increase, 

do you have any 

thoughts about it? 

what you felt from your experience?

I do not live in a world of 
domestic violence

but I can tell you this from 
what I read and see on
the media. 
All forms of violence 
and abuse
 are on the rise not to 
mention 
rot, corruption and greed. 
It surrounds us every day 
and it won't stop until 
we do something about it. 
When things get 
bad enough 
right action will follow. 
My question is, how bad 
does it have to get?
The governments 
are reflections 
of the people 
and vis-versa. 
If you're waiting 
for the status 
quo to change 
things by law, 
you'll be 
waiting a long time. 
Start with yourself first. 
At least you won't 
be adding to it.

Knowing what you know now, to what you knew then, 

where do you think society needs to 

start for people to learn how not to abuse?

Education, Education, Education!

It's very simple really. 
Be like a small child,

before it's programmed.

Don't abuse yourself 

and you won't abuse

others. 
Treat people like you 
would like to be 

treated. It works. 

That's all you can do.

Some people 
love being 
abused so they always 

look for someone 

to abuse them. 
If you have 
someone in your life

who is like that, dump them 
immediately! No matter

who they are. 
They can only bring you down.

As a young man, I expected 
Jonna to fulfill all my 

fantasies and 

dreams and make 

it all better. 

She wanted 
the same. 

We both failed 
miserably! 

No one can do 
for you what 
you won't do 
for yourself.

What do you hope readers 

will take away from this book?

First up, let me say, 
I don't live in a 
world of hope. 

Those who live in 
hope, die in hope.

Let's use the word TRUST 
instead. I trust in my heart 

that whoever reads 

MY DANISH PASTRY 
from beginning to 
end will be 

transformed by the 
brutal honesty

and unconditioned love that wrote it. 
I want for you 

what I attained 
in life for myself. 

I had to live it for 
four years and 
it transformed my life. 

All you have to do is read it

in what will take a few hours. 

Base your actions 
in love and 
you can't go wrong. 

In those days, 
I based my actions 
on lack and fear.

 It was doomed before it started!

What are your thoughts regarding the 

emotional impact of the book?

Feelings, feelings, feelings! 
Those who can't feel 

are walking dead. 

Anything that is alive, 

on this planet, 
has feelings. 
Feelings are the 

tentacles of the heart. 

They are similar

to muscles, from 
the standpoint, 
'use them or lose them'. 

First, learn to feel 
for yourself,

then it will radiate out and 
affect everyone.
Once you can feel 

the pain and suffering 

of the world then 
you'll realize 
your heart has 

manifested 
its full potential.

Compassion is all!

Limitation causes 
pain and ignorance 
causes suffering. 

You may have to put up with

some pain but you are not 
compelled to suffer!

Do you have a message, to enlighten or educate, 

or assist that you want to share regarding 

this book for people who are and or 

have been in an abusive relationship?

For those of you who are 
in an abusive and 
violent relationship, read 
MY DANISH PASTRY 
(Not a cookbook!) LOL 
Next, ask yourself 
the most dangerous
 question you've ever asked,

WHAT AM I NOT AWARE OF
THAT I NEED TO BE AWARE OF?

Don't ask if you are 
not serious otherwise 
you won't like the answer. 
For those who have moved
 on from an 
abusive relationship, 
my heart is happy
for you. 
You have educated yourself as 
I did, as a young man.
I don't need to do that again!

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